What a couple of whirlwind weeks this has been. My 82-year-old mom had major back surgery and she’s recovering really well. In the process of setting aftercare for her at home, I ran into relationship issues with other family members. Of course, my first reaction is anger and withdrawal. I can do this myself! But I can’t do it myself! My sister and her daughter graciously helped as much as possible. She is such a sweet girl, my niece. Forgive my long-windedness. I’m setting the scene for the meat of this blog today.
It’s all about boundaries. I absolutely love boundaries and I try really hard to respect other’s boundaries. Here’s a couple of things I’ve learned about boundaries.
- Boundaries are like fences. People have to ask permission to enter your space.
- People will become upset when you set your boundaries. Don’t give up. Kindly stand by your boundary and don’t back down. They will get over it and eventually, respect the new boundary.
- Boundaries help you maintain your sanity.
- Boundaries give relief from stress.
- Remember that you can set boundaries with EVERYONE in your life; parents, children, co-workers, bosses, friends, spouses.
- REMEMBER….Respect other people’s boundaries. ALWAYS ask permission if you feel a need to overstep.
So here’s how I can connect the setup with my boundaries. I’ve had to remind others of my boundaries and at the same time respect other’s boundaries. Such a fine line and so hard to do and I also need to remember how hard it must be for others to respect mine.
So, for the past couple of weeks, I’ve had to covet my down time! I’ve had to take the time to care for me. How I do that depends on whether it means expressing my needs to the others in my life or looking to the ones who will hear me to help me make that happen. I’ve still experienced stress. I’m certainly not perfect. I still struggle with guilt, which means I’ve allowed someone to jump over my boundary fence and allowed myself to feel guilty.
Just a side note about guilt…the enemy loves to see us anguish and wallow in guilt. I hate giving him that satisfaction.
This boundary setting business is a work in progress for me. So that’s a guarantee that this post will either be edited or a part two added in the near future. Stay tuned.