Yep…that’s right! It sometimes hurts to set boundaries and it definitely hurts not to set them. So, how does it hurt when I don’t have good boundaries? Say for instance, you loaned something, like a tool to a friend or grown child. And we all know tools are expensive. And we all know men covet their hammers, screw drivers, wrenches, drills, saws, etc. They love having one of each type and then also one of each size of each type.
So time goes on and on and on and that person has yet to return the tool. Do you let it ride or do you ask for it to be returned? You might debate with yourself the pros and cons to each reaction. Some of the cons to letting it ride could be that you end up just stewing and fuming inside. Well let me tell you, this is so unhealthy, not only spiritually and emotionally but physically as well!
You can actually cause your body to become physically ill because you decided not to face this boundary issue straight up.
You can become ill spiritually as well by holding on to that anger, disappointment, etc. When we become spiritually ill, something comes between us and our Creator, God. And when something comes between us, our relationship is off kilter. Meaning you have put something ahead of God. Not what He desires at all. He wants all of us. I’m so guilty of this as well.
Now the same things happen to us emotionally when we don’t deal with this boundary issue. Our relationship with that person is damaged to some degree. Emotions are the anger, disappointment, sadness, lack of trust, disgust, indignation, etc. Get the picture?
God’s Word says in Mark 12:30, 31
“30 ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’31 The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.”
So are we loving ourselves if we don’t set boundaries? I don’t think so. What do you think?