How do you get through the first holidays without a parent? My mom moved on to heaven on April 25 and the physical pain, the hurt in my heart, has diminished but the emotional pain is still very strong.
As we just celebrated Thanksgiving and as we get closer to Christmas, I’ve been flooded with memories. The memories sometimes cause a stab in the heart. I’m still not sure what is meant when people say, “at least you have your memories”. What does that mean? Memories hurt, they are not comforting. Could that just be me? I don’t think I’m the only one.
So, how DOES one get through? For me, I am attempting to make new memories. It’s all about new memories. They don’t seem to cover or block out the old memories but making new memories, doing new things, spending time with family in different ways, helps.
Something else I’m committed to doing is being more intentional about caring for me during this season. I have determined that I won’t agree to do anything, spend time with anyone, go to any event that would cause me stress. I’m not talking about the stress of being with friends and family I love dearly. I’m talking about the stress of having a lot to do and very little down time. Down time during this busy season is vital for anyone and this year all important for me.
This next tip probably is the first thing I do to get through. I spend time alone with my Abba father. I crawl up in his lap and he wraps his arms around me and rocks me like a true daddy would comfort his baby girl. I talk to him every day in my spirit. He comforts me without words.
So I know that whatever I have to do to get through this season, he is with me. Psalm 16:8 in The Passion Translation describes my experience with my Father perfectly.
“Because you are close to me and always available, my confidence will never be shaken, for I experience your wrap-around presence every moment.” TPT
What a gift from my Father! My forever Father! My human, biological father wasn’t able to give me the assurance of his presence but my true Father walks with me every minute of every day.
We read many lists during this season on how to manage the stress. Some are long and for me, they are too long to be helpful.
So, during this holiday season I’m relying on three important ways to get through: Making new memories, intentional self-care, and totally relying on my Abba Father to walk this tough season with me and to be available to comfort me as needed.
I hope this helps anyone trying to get through this festive season right after losing a loved one. It can be tough. But we have to take care to tap into our Father’s resources in order to get through.